“Mom is going to have a heart attack when she hears about this,” he said. “I can’t begin to explain how this makes me feel.”
It was his first job as a translator. He was nervous, unsure of himself, and didn’t feel like he belonged.
Clarence didn’t feel like he deserved to be with them, but little did he know, their stories were a lot like his. After 50 years, this was his time, but he still didn’t know it.
As the week went by and Clarence had good conversation with what seemed every man on the team, he began to warm up. But he still couldn’t quite muster up the feeling that he was supposed to be there.
One afternoon, we found ourselves sharing testimonies with the guys on the farm. (North) Americans shared, then Nicaraguans. After a few, I began to recognize it–all of their stories are quite similar. Drugs, alcohol, “living the life”, gangs, major pain and damage done, prison time, and then enter Jesus–through family, friends, or sometimes left-field experiences. That is when the light-bulb began to come on.
It was breaking through–maybe Clarence did belong. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t alone in the crowd.
Struggling to belong but desiring so with his entire being, Clarence kept on with open ears.
On our last day the question was asked, “If you could get the answer to any one question in the world, what would you ask?” He pondered as others shared and when I asked him, he humbly said, “I would ask you guys what do I have to do to stop doing all of the things I’m doing? I’m damaging my family, I’m exhausted, and I can’t do this anymore. What do I need to do? I talk to God and tell Him I don’t want to be like this anymore, but it seems like a few weeks later I’m back in the same addictions and hurting everyone around me…. I feel like I need to ask God into my life, but I don’t know how.”
Jaws dropped as no one paid him to say that–this was perfect timing. Before us was a 50 year old man that spent the week listening and finally realized that we all need Jesus just as bad as the other. We got to lead Clarence to Jesus on the bus that day, and as soon as we returned, we ran into his brother Jesse. (<- Jesse’s story)
Jesse couldn’t hardly hold himself together, as this was exactly how he came to Jesus–with a team in 2011.
“Mom is going to have a heart attack when she hears about this. I mean, she’s been praying for us boys to come to the Lord for years–since we were little boys, you know? I can’t begin to explain how this makes me feel.”
It wasn’t anything magical, just a bunch of men from the USA being themselves and sharing the raw truth of what God has done for them. Little did they know where Clarence stood, but their obedience proved enough–Jesus always proves to be enough.
(L-R: Jesse, Scott Esposito, Jennifer Esposito, Clarence)
