"I have extra time. Why not take advantage of it?" I thought.
Rolling to a stop at the city park, my eyes met a father, full of life, playing ball with his young boys. This brought back pleasant memories and dreams of days to come. I then rested upon a mother having a pic-nic with her children, carefully and lovingly placing her attention as she simply desired to gaze upon the light of their faces. This reminded me of mom's heart for quiet and quality time with our family. These are things that make my heart cry, "We are made for this!"
It's no secret that we were designed for pleasure – the pleasure of the Father.
I strolled the green grass kicking acorns across the yard as every bit of my eyes were peeled to the beauty of God's creation – the clouds, the trees, the squirrels, the water, the people.
In the distance, I noticed a woman with grocery bags lining her arms walking across the yard. She must be returning home from the store, readying for a big meal with the family. My focus turned as I kept walking.
Watching children play and swing, old folks walking dogs, and love birds enjoying a nice stroll about the park makes me come alive. We definitely were made for this – made to enjoy the heart of God.
Hmm… it seems that this lady isn't going straight home. She's walking around the park just like me.
It was time, time to roll on, but wait – the lady. As I rolled down the street, I noticed her out my front window. My heart ached – I couldn't take it. All hopes shattered at what I saw. I saw her, adorned in dirty clothes and plastic bags, destroying the trash for her next meal. She had found ketchup packets and was sucking every last drop of ketchup from the corners. This made me uncomfortable – highly uncomfortbale.
How could I roll on as if I had never seen her?
"It's no big deal, she's probably doing this so someone will notice her."
Finally, my humanity crippled underneath me as my spirit stood tall.
"Father, what do you want me to do?"
I rolled on, and in response to Holy Spirit, returned with a hearty meal that even my taste buds perked at.
Eager to see what God had in mind, I parked and walked over to suffice her appetite.
She didn't even look me in the eyes as she refused, turned in shame, and hurried off in the opposite direction.
After another prayerful try, I received the same response. It about broke my back. All I had left in me was to speak the simple words, "Jesus loves you so much" as I choked back crocodile tears.
I didn't understand her, nor she me. My insides ached with questions and misunderstanding moments of thought.
I might not quite undertand this precious woman or what happened on that day, but one thing I know – we were made to enjoy the heart of God, and in that heart lives no shame. We were designed to enjoy a hearty meal in the pleasure of God without fear of being shamed. The Father holds no shame over the heads of His sons and daughters. Truth is, Jesus doesn't care how long you've been gone, what you've got your hands into, or the life that you think you've "screwed up".
This is grace: He simply wants you.
