It's been a long time coming, but I must tell you that I'm addicted.
With underlying motives and confused emotions, I have rolled the preverbal eyes of my mind when I would see it in others. I never understood why it was so addictive, but I have been exposed.
While experiencing the heart of God all over the world and peering into His children, I see more and more why they are too.
After denying the 'riches' of the state and deciding to follow God's vision for my life, I can't sit here and lie to you – it's been difficult. I can't tell you that I have storehouses for the future, I can't guarantee anyone anything 'stable', nor can I promise a 'suitable' income for my future family, but one thing I can guarantee you is that my Source never runs dry!
This morning, as the Spirit of God moved throughout this broken pile of bricks called 'church' here in Haiti, I shared a direct word from the Lord. The atmosphere was heavy with the saturation of the Spirit and all of a sudden, a young woman walked in, placed my hand in hers, and proclaimed with the burning eyes of God, "God says, 'You are a source that will never run dry.'" I immediately began to sob as she drenched me in prayer and the beloved sons and daughters of God sang over me. As tears flooded her face and covered my hands, she released the words of God and my heart lay before me.
Just after, I watched this little old man rise from his pile of dirt, remove himself from the crowd and purely worship the Father as he joyfully moved about the church wipiping tears from his face. It's a beautiful site to see such a man with nothing to hold onto grasp the One who keeps His promises, the One who is the Storehouse.
I am beginning to see what God meant when He said, "I am." I'm beginning to understand why worship is so addicting.
Think of King David for a second. He's highly misunderstood in today's society, so I'm sure you have thought at some point, "how was David such 'a man of God's heart', yet was still sin stained and on the run all the time? It seems like he would always turn around from such events and write the most beautiful songs to God, such incredible songs from his heart… then God would embrace him as 'a man after His own heart'. How could this be?" Some just don't understand because grace is a mystery and worship is a 'thing'. Believe me, I know how that feels. For years, I have pondered and struggled, however I think I may be starting to grasp it, just a bit. David understood that in the midst of his largest fails, when he was running for his life, and in his greatest triumphs, his only source, his only refuge of hope was the Almighty. David 'got' that everlasting joy was in worshipping the King and nothing else would suffice. Here's a man with everything that one could ask for, yet he knew that all he had was God. David was addicted; he was God's worshipping warrior, and God honors hearts like his.
I'm beginning to believe I'm addicted. I can't stop. I wake with a new song on my heart and I want more. I finally want to worship my King and take joy in doing so! I'm starting to finally see the fullness of beauty in God's eyes as I explore them more.
Come with me. No wait, forget that and go get a taste for yourself!
